Even though I had left school I was still able to see a school therapist but I stopped going just before heading home for Christmas. I was telling her about how my head was still swimming with worry. I was living completely inside myself and I didn't know how to get out. So she told me to start noticing my surroundings. To look at nature and people and buildings. Sounded easy enough. So I left that session and I started looking. The sky was blue. The trees were bare. The wind was cold. I had stepped out of my head and allowed myself to join the world again.
Even the smallest of flames help you to see the whole picture.
A few months before this I had attended the first Boston Bookfest with my friend and college roommate, Laura. I told her how I had been feeling like I wanted to leave school. We discussed it a little and then the lecture started. When it was finished she turned to me and asked if I had read the book, "Eat, Pray, Love." I told her that I had and she told me that I should do what the author of that book did. Take a year off to take care of myself. To leave behind the bad and find the good. It was what I wanted to do all along and she was the first person to tell me it was a good idea. I had found my support. So away I went. Easy as that.
And since then, and during this past year, I have been having the time of my life. This has quite honestly been one of the best. I'm happy. I am comfortable with who I am. I can face whatever comes my way and there is freedom in knowing that. I am not a slave to my life anymore. I make the rules. Like a boss.
So as this year comes to an end and a new one is only days away I hope that all of you will find happiness as well. Actually, it's not even that you have to find it, you just have to realize it. I hope that you realize that you are capable of being happy. And if you are already happy then I am happy for you. But I know it's not easy. So this past year was about me and now it's your turn. Make 2011 about you and your happiness.
Happy New You Year!
