"This is an adventure"

I've started writing quotes down that I like. It's a skinny moleskin journal that I bought to write down all the books I have read but I keep forgetting to update it. There was a time where I was convinced that someday I would forget everything so I started writing down all the movies and books I had seen. It's kind of silly when I think about it. That when I am old I will be more concerned with remembering what movies I have seen rather than trying to remember what my family looks like. I don't own any photo albums. All my pictures are on my computer but I will probably forget how to use that too. I am almost anal enough to write down notes about everything but I'm lazy enough to not actually do it. It would be interesting though to actually start a book about my life. It would be like a very comprehensive autobiography but only for myself. I could include instructions, lists and memorable events for myself. I don't even think Alzheimer's runs in my family but I find myself becoming more and more forgetful everyday and I'm only 23. I would hate to forget everything.

I've been keeping up with writing quotes down though because they are interesting and they inspire me. There is nothing better than a well-crafted sentence that expresses everything you can't actually say. Or choose not to. I've been just browsing the internet and writing down interesting things or just jotting down what I read in a book. I usually do this before bed at night. I feel calm after. Then I carry around this notebook during my day so I can pull it out when I need a boost or feel alone. I can find something to relate to and feel a little better. I found this great quote by Haruki Murakami that pretty much sums me up at the moment. My best friend read a book by him and told me I should read him but I forgot about it until I came across that quote. I'm going to pick up one of his books once I get through the four that I am currently reading. I've never been someone to read multiple books at a time but there are just so many that I am interested in right now that I couldn't help it. It's not really as enjoyable though. I'm currently reading Sellevision, The Book Thief, Frankenstein and...I can't even remember the fourth one. I think I will stick to just reading Frankenstein since Halloween is coming up. I wouldn't read Frankenstein at any other time of year because it goes best with a Fall day and a Pumpkin Spice latte from Starbucks.

But this is a classic example of my poor planning. Not only do I have a ton of homework to do but I also have four books to read. Reading is supposed to be fun but I have loaded on four of them so now it feels like a chore. It's an easy fix though. Just read one. I wish I could do that with my schoolwork. I am going to New Orleans on Friday and would really prefer to have only one assignment to complete before then rather than...four. I guess four is the magic number this month. As it turns out, four is also my favorite number, but not for any particular reason. I just assigned it as my favorite number one day. I believe in assigning luck or special meaning to ordinary objects. I think it might have been my jersey number when I play basketball in middle school. I must have done really well and thought it was the number that made me good, rather than my own talent. I dropped basketball but kept the number.

I'm very excited to go to New Orleans this week. I've never been before and have actually never gone that far west yet. I've gone all the way down to Florida but have never left the east coast. I'm going to a wedding with my roommate but I have no idea who the people are who are getting married. I'm just coming along for the ride. For the adventure. I'm excited for the layovers too because they are in Kentucky on the way down and Houston on the way back. Isn't that silly? I have never been to these places though and one of my goals in life is to visit all 50 states so this will be working towards that goal. It will feel like an accomplishment even if it just consists of 45 minutes of sitting in an airport terminal. I can still observe and listen and feel what it's like to be in a different part of America for a little while. We are flying out of Boston at 5:30am on Friday and while my roommate is dreading it I am excited to be in the air when the sun is rising.

I've been living out of my suitcase for a while now since I have been traveling so often between Boston and CT this past month or so. I'm currently in CT at my parents house and kind of dreading my ride back on the train tonight. I am taking quite a late train because I never want to leave home and push it off as much as I can because Boston means stress lately. That's where school, my internship and my apartment are. That is where I am an adult with responsibilities and a rent to pay and obligations to fulfill. It's where I have four books sitting by my bed that I can't find the time to read because my mind is too full lately to even focus on the words. My brain won't stop thinking about everything else I need to do. That's why all I can handle are quotes lately. I can only take in life one sentence at a time and as much as I love these quotes and what they have to say, I can't help but want to be able to take in a whole goddamn book and not have to reread entire pages because I realize that I have been looking at the words but not really taking any of them in. I'm looking but not seeing. It's frustrating but I know it won't be like this forever. Nothing ever stays the same.

Oh and here's the Murakami quote:

"...I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore. It's hard to put into words, but I guess it's like I was fast asleep, and someone came, disassembled me, and hurriedly put me back together again. That sort of feeling."

Yes. That. Perfect.